Riing riiing!
"Hello?"
"Hey, is your T.V. on?"
"Why yes.... yes it is."
"Well then hows it fit!?!?"
Laughter ensues
Click!
Well, my TV fits like a glove, a tight leather glove that someone would yank over their fat wrist on before they cover my mouth and try to smother the life out of me. And, as I hover near the brink of death, I would inhale through my nose and that glove would smell like motorcycle exhaust, chicken fingers, buttercream frosting, reams of paper, hair gel, felt, salty air, a turkey leg wrapped in bacon and clown make-up.
Clown make-up, you ask?
Yes, clown make-up.
Surely you remember Fizbo don't you.?
Anyway.
You see kids, the glove is a metaphor for the massive amount of excellent television that is let loose every fall. New shows to fall in love with, old shows coming back, stunt casting, and of course, the fine art of juggling the schedules so the DVR can record everything I want to see. That's right, the DVR. You didn't think I actually watched these shows LIVE did you? With commercials? Oh ho ho ho no no no. No.
A one hour television show has about 20 minutes of commercials. Let's say I watch 21 hours of television a week, that's actually only 14 hours of actual programming, saving me 7 hours that I can then use for humanitarian purposes, like saving babies from fires and teaching old people how to use Facebook.
Or, I could fill it with more television, which would help keep thousands of people working in the television industry; writers writing, actors acting, make-up people making people up, costumers costuming, and PR people PRing. My decision to pack each and every free hour of my life with television shows helps to keep our economy afloat. You're welcome America. I'm happy to make this sacrifice for you. Unless your job is making commercials, then I'm not helping you at all. Sorry, you should get another line of work.
So, what do I watch, you ask?
I'm glad you asked. I happen to have right here a list of the shows I'll be watching this fall. Some of them I'm already started and some are scheduled to start soon.
I've divided them up by day of the week, in case you'd like to follow in my footsteps and save our country from certain economic crisis. Brand new shows are highlighted for your convenience.
MONDAY
The Event (NBC)
TUESDAY
Sons of Anarchy (FX)
Glee (Fox)
Raising Hope (Fox)
Running Wilde (Fox)
The Colony (
WEDNESDAY
Modern Family (ABC)
Survivor (CBS)
Top Chef: Just Desserts (Bravo)
Terriers (FX)
THURSDAY
The Office (NBC)
30 Rock (NBC)
Parks & Recreation (NBC) (not back until next year)
Outsourced (NBC)
Community (NBC)
Fringe (Fox)
Project Runway (Lifetime)
FRIDAY
Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)
SATURDAY
Saturday Night Live (NBC)
SUNDAY
Dexter (Showtime)
The Amazing Race (CBS)
Mad Men (AMC) (almost over)
Boardwalk Empire (HBO)
Eastbound & Down (HBO)
Now, thanks to the magic of the DVR I don't necessarily watch the shows on the day they record. Sometimes Superfro and I wait for whatever reason. Some shows we have to watch the day of airing lest something get spoiled when we are browsing the internet. Sometimes I'm even on the internet while I'm watching T.V. Sometimes I'm reading about T.V. shows on the internet while watching T.V. shows about how you can watch T.V. shows on the internet!
Let me change gears before I create some sort of black hole.
There are other shows that we record but we don't keep up with. They sort of work as time fillers for when we're waiting for another show to come on, or serve as things we can have on in the background but don't need to pay attention to. Included in these are Cops (Fox), Intervention (A&E), Hoarders (A&E), Cupcake Wars (Food Network) and Challenge (Food Network).
There are also shows that we record but then don't end up watching, like: The Pacific (HBO), True Blood (HBO), Smith (CBS), Human Target (Fox)
Still then there are shows I watched and wish I had not, shows I had previous enjoyed but in recent seasons had fallen into a whirlwind of suck yet I felt like I had invested so much time into them already that I needed to stick it out until the end even if it was excruciating to watch. Yes, I'm talking to you Rescue Me (FX).
Also, shows I watched before but might not watch again; Treme (HBO).
Shows I won't watch no matter how many people tell me I should: Big Bang Theory (CBS) & How I Met Your Mother (CBS).
And then there are shows that I miss. The Shield (FX), The Wire (HBO), Miss Guided (ABC), Knights of Prosperity (ABC) and Best Week Ever (VH1).
If after reading all this you're still awake and not shaking your head in disgust with my television gluttony, then I invite you to enter an exciting contest! To enter, all you have to do, is leave a comment on this post for a chance to win Community Season One on DVD!
That's right, I'm giving away a BRAND NEW copy of the first season of Community, for FREE! All you have to do is leave a comment, that's easy right? You can tell me your favorite show, tell me a show I should be watching, tell me you think I watch too much T.V., whatever, just leave a comment before October 5th, 2010 at 11:59 am and you will be eligible to win. Even if there are only 2 entries, someone is going to win this DVD! Good luck!
Please be sure you comment includes some way to get ahold of you and while you can comment as much as you want I'll only count one comment per person towards the drawing!
You also might enjoy these posts, or maybe not: The Community Peacock Players The Event
37 comments:
My new favorite show is Louie! I was blown away by how smart the show is, I loved Lucky Louie on HBO :)
Oh and you DO NOT watch too much TV, I DO!
LOL
Great contest BTW :)
we were so frustrated with the new lineup this year. we're actually resorting to recording shows on a vcr tape, that's right, a tape because we have so many shows we want to see and our dvr can only record 2 at a time. I'm sorry but i have to say it....The Big Bang Theory is awesome, my most anticipated, you simply must watch it!
Favorite TV show is currently a tie between Caprica (for its sci-fiey/drama cylon birthing awesomeness) and Psych (for its hilarious one liners and fun theme episodes.) Give them a shot if you enjoy such things.
We are adding Showtime to our DirectTV subscription this week for the sole purpose of watching Dexter. Been a trend for the last few years as it's just too good to wait a year to watch it on DVD.
Fridays have become my Hulu days, since it seems the majority of my shows are Thursday night. ESPECIALLY since they've moved Big Bang Theory (which never seems to be anywhere online. Tricky.).
I'm hoping they change that since it has been so successful. :)
And it's okay to watch too much TV...I've decided that it is a completely legitimate addiction...in a good way. :)
My favorite show is Community with Dexter and Mad Men tying for second. If you aren't watching Mad Men or Dexter than you should be and if you are then you should also watch Parks and Recreation when it returns and Doctor Who. And you probably watch a lot of tv but so do I so I can't judge. It's too awesome to give up.
Why do you refuse to watch TBBT? (I think that's great, btw.) I've watched several episodes in a sincere effort to see what all the hype's about, but I just can't see the appeal. It's "amusing," but it doesn't deserve the mass following it's acquired. Community rules.
Not seeing a whole on the new slate that I'm immediately drawn to.
I'm willing to give Greg Garcia a chance with Raising Hope. I've heard mixed reviews, but My Name is Earl was a favorite of mine, so we'll see how it goes.
I love TV just as much as you do, definitely. My favorite right now is Chuck. And I hope I win the DVD!
-- David Clark
twitter.com/davidrogerc
Community is the best!
Favorite show is Prison Break
Community is the best show on TV, IMO. And you definitely do not watch too much TV. I have about 30 shows recording between 2 DVRs. Sad, but true.
Anyways.. Community is my favorite!
PS. I refused to watch HIMYM for three years. Then, gave in and watched all the episodes that were on DVD. Kinda love it now.
Top 3 shows every week (in no particular order) are Chuck, Community, and The Big Bang Theory (which I must join the others in saying you need to give it a chance, along with HIMYM). Other must-sees are Criminal Minds, Desperate Housewives, and Psych. I'm so super excited by this Fall lineup. We didn't have DVR last season and choosing between all of those shows kinda sucked. Got it this year though! Woohoo!!! :)
I have about 100 seasons of TV on DVD, another 150 on various hard drives and reading that blog made me realise how perfect we are for each other :P
I also live in Australia, so I doubt i'll win, but regardless. it has been an absolute pleasure to get to know you even if very slightly :)
You should be watching Psych on usa Wednesday nights..on hiatus until November, but you can always watch on hulu. It is the one of the best shows on tv right now. I also like Parenthood on nbc
I love Thursday night tv on nbc. Excited about everything besides outsourced (I want parks and rec in fall line up)
I am the same as you with himym and tbbt! Although I used to feel that way about lost and have recently become a big fan (watching on hulu and netflix)
Happy watching! Yay for fall!
Yay for Community!
One new show I'm going to give a chance is No Ordinary Family. But that could just be because of my love for The Incredibles and I'm hoping it lives up to the premise.
This blog post has moxie.
D and I are considering ditching cable entirely and doing with Hulu, iTunes, network online rebroadcasts and the like. A lot of series we watch aren't time-sensitive, so we can see them whenever. We'd only be missing out on our most favoritest live shows, like pro sports (bass fishing) and Hoarders.
I fucking love GLEE! And I can't wait for season 2. The 2nd half of the first season was better than the 1st half because there was less of Mr. Schuester's ex-wife.
Oh and Top Chef: Just Desserts is my wet dream of TV shows.
No Big C? No United States of Tara?! No WEEDS?!!!
Le sigh
I just finished Boardwalk Empire literally in the past 2mins. At this point I cant get my head around how mind blowingly amazing it was. Now I gotta watch newest Mad Men, after last weeks Emmy worthy episode I cant wait to see where they go.
Thank you everyone for the awesome comments!
I have tried to watch Big Bang Theory but I can't get over the laugh track. It just...sort of grates on me. Also, I have a suspicious that Jim Parsons is actually an alien in human skin.
I do watch Dexter and forgot to add it to my list.
I did try to watch Chuck but it did not hold my interest. I got to meet Zachary Levi this summer and he was incredibly nice, making me want to give it a second chance!
With all the suggestions for Psych I'd be an idiot not to check it out! Thanks!
@Marc B I will watch Big C but Weeds is sort of "meh" for me. Mostly because I have a personal aversion to drug humor.
@chrystal - You are super hardcore breaking out the VCR!
I know you said you tried Chuck, but you should give it another chance - the first season is a little cheesy/cliched so it can be hard to get through, I know it was for me, but Season 2 really steps it up and it's all amazing from there!
And then, once you finish Season 2, I guarantee that you'll want to go back and rewatch Season 1 - Chuck is just that kind of show :)
My favorite show by a wide margin is Community. Trailing distantly behind are Psych, and Phineas and Ferb. And of course there's Doctor Who, which I've been a fan of for so long that I'm sort of given it a Hall of Fame slot just to be fair to the other shows.
I am so looking forward to Community words can't express . The pictures of you an 'fro with cast made me want to punch him in the face.
I'm glad to hear you say that about True Blood and Pacific because I totally lost interest in those and they just sit there shameful on my dvr . My fiance has started reading the Sookie Stackhouse series and she is getting in to it so we may get back in to just so she can compare the two.
I actually like Glee mostly because of the music but at the same time the music causes me great pain because its bad , but when it's good like the Safety Dance bit it is hard not to like.
I too am on the Big Bang HIMYM bandwagon but unlike community I don't tell people they have to watch either you like it or you don't .
You're super nice doing this giveaway!
I barely got into Community last month through Hulu and am looking forward to the premiere this Thursday!
Too many shows! I can't keep up with the shows I've been watching for years, let alone all of the new shows that pile on every year...Plus, I'm being turned on to established shows that I missed, which compounds the problem (I have your husband's incessant tweeting to thank for my newfound Sons of Anarchy obsession). I admit, though...It's a pretty great "problem" to have!
I watch way too much to play favorites, but Psych, Chuck, 30 Rock, and Community are at the top of the list.
As for a should you should be watching, I'd suggest Rubicon. It's a super-smart thriller about a government code breaker that gets caught up in a crazy conspiracy!
I am really looking forward to checking out OUTSOURCED because I love the movie it is based upon. Will they regain the charm and fun of the characters and overall story? Or will it just be as awesome as that Geico cavemen series they did ;)
You cannot get a hold of me for the contest . . . I just wanted to shout my love for Outsourced.
Community's my favorite as well. It's just so brilliant all the darn time. I also love Parks and Recreation and just got hooked on Doctor Who on Matt Smith's first season, which I'm having a ton of fun with.
(I'm not gonna win, that's for sure, but just in case, you can get a hold of me at laciudadsehasalvado@hotmail.com)
No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.
That is so cool that you are giving away the first season. I would love to own the dvd. I am in the Army, so I never really have time to watch shows on the actual tv.
My favorite show is Medium. I'm a huge fan of Patricia Arquette.
Lonerwor@aim.com
My favorite show is either The Office or Community. The Event is growing on me, and I'm trying to see how I feel about Undercovers and Outsourced. Mixed feelings so far.
I'm tired of Glee.
Oh, in case you pick me, superluke -at- gmail -dotcom-
Would love to check this show out, have heard great things! Thanks for the contest!
So close to announcing the winner!! AHHH!!
Big congrats to Mandy who was chosen as the winner of this giveaway. Mandy, I've sent you a comment via your blog but if you read this, please contact me so I can send you the DVD! :-)
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