I always seem to get what I want for Christmas, even when I don’t know what I want. The following is a list of some of my favorite gifts.
Cassette tape – INXS “Kick”
This was a gift from my sister., I’m pretty sure she bought it at Sears. Yes, Sears at one time rivaled even the hippie dippy Record Bar for fine LPs and cassette tapes. It was the year the album was released 1987, so I was 13 years old. My dad as recently helped me Old English some old speakers and we had hooked them up in my room to a tape deck. It was a jammin’ system. In addition to Inxs, I would also rock out to the “Waking Up With the House on Fire” by Culture Club (also from Sears. That album features the incredible track “Crime Time“ with the lyric “Death cab for cutie, sung it like a beauty, stepped out forgetting danger had a duty. Lonely night……you’ve got to feed it right…..” I never understood a bit of it except it sounded like it involved espionage, a subject I was well versed in, having checked out on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS the young readers encyclopedia volume covering detective work and spying.
Cabbage Patch Kid named “Cy Tyrone”
I knew I was getting a Cabbage Patch Kid and I could barely contain my excitement. I had found the doll while snooping in the trunk of my Mom’s car. I was instantly upset that I had ruined the surprise and was mortified that I might not be able to pull off the proper emotion on Christmas morning.
This C.P.K. was a ‘preemie” and was mostly bald with a tuft of light brown hair on the top of his head. His name was “Cy Tyrone” and for some reason, even at my early age, I knew that the name had a very “urban” sound to it. Maybe it was because of the Tyrone, I’m pretty sure there was a black character named “Tyrone” on an ABC After School Special once, maybe twice. I certainly didn’t know any black people at that time, and wouldn’t until high school. Even so, I was convinced that my C.P.K. was a black baby trapped in a white babies body. It was a perfect situation for my other doll, Leslie, who was indeed black. I had asked specifically for, and received a black baby doll. My father and my sister took to ribbing me about it. I remember specifically my sister telling my father, “Don’t worry, she’s adopted.” Not only does that sound incredibly racist to me now but also a little weird considering that both my sister and I were adopted. Maybe my sister was biologically born of Confederate parents or something, delivered to our adoptive parents wrapped a crisp white sheet, with a pretty little pointy hood over her head and face. Thankfully, she grew out of her racism. I think
Giant dangly earrings in the shape of buttons
These gawdy accessories were all the rage and I was sporting the coolest pair; black hoops with giant red buttons in the center. Not only were they fashionable but were also the colors of my school mascot, the Linn-Mar Lions. This was far before I learned to hate and also be deeply ashamed of my school. I was still attending basketball games with my parents. What can I say, we had a kick-ass team.
Cassette tape – Siouxsie & the Banshees “Peepshow”
This tape was a gift from my friend Gwen Grahn in 1988, my freshman year. I also gave her a copy of the tape. It was my first Siouxsie tape and I was thrilled to own it. In fact, I still have it. It was the start of a 20 year love affair with the band that continues today. At the time Siouxsie had been around for 10 years already but I didn’t know that, I only knew that I liked the music and I loved the singer. Eventually I started telling people that Siouxsie Sioux was my biological mother (totally plausible). Gwen was my “wacky” friend, very out going and very ahead of her time. Once she came to school dressed in jeans in which one of the legs had been cut off into shorts. She had a brother named Rudy who seemed smart and mysterious and very hip. Everything Gwen touched seemed to turn to “cool” and I spent much of my freshman year wishing she would touch me (not like that!)
Fake Fur Coat
When my sister and I were young my mom liked to dress us in coordinating clothes. Same dress, different color, that sort of thing. Not everyday, mind you, just for Christmas photos and special occasions. One year, I must have been about 6 or 7 years old, she got us coordinating faux fur coats. I was convinced the coat was real fur and adjusted my attitude to match how I thought a fur wearing little princess would act. I wore that coat with great pride. Had I received a tiara that same year I would have been in heaven. Most likely, I stuck Christmas bows on my head and pretended they were “fancy”.
Swatch Watch – “Andromeda"
My first Swatch was not received at Christmas but was purchased at Armstrong’s Department Store in Downtown Cedar Rapids. My sister and I went with my Dad to purchases watches. She got hers across the street at Siegel’s, it was some gold ladylike one. I chose Swatch’s “Big Eclipse”, in the Gent’s size. I knew other people at school who had Swatch watches, like that bitch Stacy Baier, but they were all the small ones with dumb ass plaid patterns, or with the Swatch tartan shield on them. My Swatch was black and while and cool all over.
In 1988 my boyfriend Eric McNew bought me a Swatch for Christmas. I knew what it was when I saw the distinct package, wrapped up in a Stussy ad that he had wrapped from Thrasher magazine. That was one of the great things about Swatches, you knew when you saw the box that it was a Swatch but the excitement came in trying to figure out which one of the hundreds of designs it was. This one was the Andromeda design, with a clear band that had white stripes and a clear face surrounded by a white ring I started wearing the Big Eclipse and the Andromeda together, linked to each other and wound around my wrist double time. Sometimes I would borrow Eric’s watches and then link them all together to make a belt. Another Swatch related story, I once dressed up as a Swatch for Halloween. I wore a Swatch brand sweater dress that had fish all over it, then made a paper clock face and stuck it to my belly. It was awesome. Also, I once made a paper template of a Swatch and would then design my own versions. *sigh* Oh to be young. I’ve received many other Swatch Watches as gifts over the years but this was the one that started my obsession. I now own several hundred Swatch watches plus tons of Swatch memorabilia, including a beaded belt that must be about 14 inches around and a nifty Swatch display case.
Combat Boots
In 1990 my Dad and his wife gave me combat boots for Christmas. I asked for combat boots and they got them for me. And I never stopped wearing them. I wore them to school, to work, to the mall and to my Mom’s house. I wore them with pants and with dresses and especially with my Vision Street Wear skate skirt paired with my Siouxsie and the Banshees “Peepshow” t-shirt. . I even wore them to prom. My mother hated them and I loved them. I still have them, sitting in my closet, a gentle reminder of my youth. And in case I get drafted.
Cordless Telephone
In 1994 I received a cordless telephone from my Dad. I had not asked for one and I was at first a little ticked off to get it, it seemed so impersonal (it was only a mere 4 years after the combat boots). Little did I know that phone, an answering machine model by PhoneMate would last until 2008. The phone has just recently been retired and I have yet to replace it because I know that nothing on the market today will hold a candle to the good ole PhoneMate.
Obviously I can’t talk about all of the hundreds, maybe even thousands of gifts I have received in my 34 years. I could go on for weeks about the extensive Winnie-the Pooh gifts that Superfo showered onto me. Or the many Esprit outfits my Mom picked out, knowing my style and taste so perfectly. Oh balls! I forgot about the fantastic paintings by Becky Danielson that my sister got me! Every gift is meaningful and appreciated. Even the antique port-a Johnny that Superfro’s step mom gave us (don't ask).
